Musical Money

In 2016 the UK released a new plastic polymer-based £5 note, which troubled vegetarians, but apparently appeals to DJs.

The rigid plastic is tear-resistant and structurally firmer than a paper bill, and those sharp corners work nicely to ride in the groove of a record album, playing music:

Technologically, this is how old gramophones worked — a needle rode the groove, changing the groove’s variations into a vibration in a larger resonator.  The corner of the bill is the needle, and the rest of the bill is the resonator.  Who knew money could be so useful?

Unsecured Loan Tricks

I got my mail like any other day, and found this:   no return address, plain white envelope, heavy on one end, sure looks like a replacement debit or credit card, don’t it?

You can even see where the credit card numbers have rubbed through the envel—wait a goddamn minute…

Those rubbed-in numbers that make it look like there’s a credit card inside are literally printed on the envelope.   Those unsecured loan motherfuckers are getting tricky, they’ll do anything to get me to not throw away their crap without opening the envelope.  Sure enough, inside it says I’m approved for “$2,000 to $25,000″ as long as I use my “Personal Offer Code” when I go to their website.   Oh, and the offer expires in February, as if I won’t get twelve more offers like this in the mail in the next month.    And, yes, I’m on the “stop junk mail” lists, but this shit still keeps coming.